Oh, Cheezy Flicks, how we love you. No other company seems to be made for us as much as you are. With everything from Slashers featuring erotic cow milking, to Nazisploitatin, to outer space epics that are..not so epic, Cheezy flicks knows it’s cheese and is unapologetic in it’s marketing strategy. If you buy something from Cheezy Flicks, you know what you’re getting and we love them for that. When They got in touch offering up a little known classic from my childhood that I hadn’t seen since I was under five, I jumped for joy, rounded up my 11 year old son Caleb and popped in Jack The Giant Killer..but was it the breathtaking, fast paced action packed epic I remembered it as?…Weeeeeeeell..Not quite.
JACK THE GIANT KILLER Introduces Jack,the world’s oldest farmhand (Seriously, this dude has to be at least 40) who gets himself in the good graces of the king by saving his daughter from a giant monster that an evil wizard named pendragon set loose on her. The Princess and Jack fall deeply in love but Pendragon isn’t done, with the help of a double agent spy, a group of “witches” and a mad assistant, Pendragon unleashes an endless flood of monsters before successfully kidnapping the princess. Thankfully Jack is also not alone, joining him on jis journey are boy pirate Peter, a viking, and a leprechaun..that’s right a motherfucking leprechaun..
TAKE THAT WIZARD OF OZ! Will Jack succeed in his quest? Of course he will but will you succeed in getting through this without pissing your pants with laughter? I highly doubt it!
It’s always gotten to me that so many people shit on little movies like this one but celebrate films like The Wizard Of Oz like it’s an untouchable classic. I mean, yes, of course The Wizard Of Oz is classic..but it’s also dated, silly and let’s face it, cheesy as fuck. This movie deserves that same kind of reverence. Yes it’s chalk full of ineptitude and it’s hysterically off kilter..but holy fuck, how can you not love a movie that boasts a puppet magically turning into a giant two eyed version of the cyclops from The Odyssey, going on a rampage and destroying things with ease only to be thwarted by that scorn of all giant monsters..a doorway that’s too small!
Or how’s about a Leprechaun in a bottle turning a skeleton arm into a whip that can be used against an army of…slow moving “dragon guards”..I mean come now, what’s more terrifying than extremely slow moving guys in cheap armor moving in unison? How’s about a monster fight between a two headed version of our biclops and a cross between the Loch ness Monster and a squid?
Oh..and our witches? Are they hooked nosed hags? Nope, they’re extras from Troll 2 (the Goblins not the witch) and a miniature Godzilla who swallowed a fire extinguisher and has the power of over exposing the film and dimming the lighting!
Even our Wizard is epic..Does he look like Merlin? Nope..It’s motherfucking Doctor Strange! I dare you not to love this movie!
The acting here is actually pretty damn good considering the material. Everyone manages to play things completely straight faced no matter how amazingly off the wall the scenes get. One hysterical detail to notice is Jack’s obviously modern (for the early 60’s) hair cut and the fact that sideburns seem to be the identifying mark of whether a character is evil or good. My favorite character here is Pendragon who chews up the scenes like pacman on bath salts. This guy doesn’t just look like Doctor Strange..He IS Doctor Strange..In fact I’m convinced this is secretly a prequel to Marvel’s residential sorcerer..I’m aware that that assessment doesn’t make any logical sense..but I stand behind it nonetheless.
The special effects here are…amazingly silly. claymation and the use of platforms poorly hidden behind super imposition make for some truly hilarious scenes. Add to it the actors being substituted with obvious clay stunt doubles during certain scenes and the constant change in the monsters size and you’ve got some great cheese for sure.
The cinematography here was very well done, showcasing a beautiful 35mm that utilizes naturally lighting in all of the exterior shots and smoothly transitions to the man made set shots with ease. There’s some moments like the witch attack scene where the lighting and approach drastically change..but I’m pretty sure that was intentional..although baffling.
Overall I absolutely loved this movie. My son Caleb and I had a hell of a time laughing and riffing through it and I think that this is one that works both as something to watch with the kiddies and also something to watch with bros over some brewskies for a night of drunken laughter.
I give it two middle fingers chopped off and sanded to the bone. Director Nathan Juran (famous for Attack Of Th 50 ft woman, and The Voyage Of Sinbad) created one of the most memorable children’s epic of all time and it’s really too bad that so many people overlook or never hear about this gem..just avoid the remake and stick with this one trust me.
Posted on September 21, 2013
As a kid, I was addicted to haunted house attractions. Anywhere I went, be it to a Carnival, Fair, or even Someone’s front yard on Halloween, If there was a fright attraction I was there. Some were terrifying, most were just silly but all of them were fun embodied .
Something about getting excited, letting my adrenaline pump and curbing my disbelief long enough to allow myself that I was walking, not into a building with paid actors and props but into another dimension, a dimension where zombies, werewolves, slashers, demonic clowns, living dolls, Ghosts, Vampires and all other varieties of things that go bump in the night are not only very real but rule supreme is beyond amazing, there’s nothing quite like it..But I often wondered what the people who ran the places were really like..What kinds of things did they struggle with, what made them want to do what they do, and just what did it take to run something like this.. Directors Brian Cunningham and Joe Laughrey had those same questions and With their wonderful documentary MONSTERS WANTED The answered them, delving into an element of the business very few outsiders have ever been and bringing us along for the wild wild ride!
MONSTERS WANTED Follows the lives of Rich Teachout and Janel Nash, a 30-somthing couple who share one all encompassing dream..To scare the living shit out of people! To make this dream come true the two literally put everything they own and their own sanity on the line and create a haunted attraction for The Asylum, a haunted attraction previously known almost solely for it’s paintball based zombie shooting range. Watch as the duo, along with friends, volunteers and one very resistant very aggressive partner and one passive one put their blood, sweet tears, hours of work, life savings and very souls into making their dreams a reality against all odds.
Wow, Going into this thing, I would never have considered that it might get me teary eyed but indeed it did, watching this couple and their rag tag group of misfits desperately trying to stay above water and put on the show of their lives was nerve wreaking, tear inducing and ultimately extremely inspiring.
Watching this documentary i could literally see the couple noticeably age from start to finish, as if the project was literally sucking the life out of them, but no matter how much it drained them, no matter how much the rug got pulled out from under them and everything that could go wrong did, they never lost that childlike sparkle in their eyes when discussing their dreams and how they were making them reality no matter the cost.
But Rich and Janel were far from the only notable characters here. The group of actors were..out there, but in a good way. This was a group of people who didn’t see this as a job but as an opportunity to show their true colors, monsters stuck in human bodies, if you will, the passion with which they embraced their various characters was almost scary. One man in particular, an older gentleman with a chainsaw fetish came across so believable that I wondered if he’d ACTUALLY be killing people without an outlet like this. The relationship these people grew by the time the fun was over and everyone had to go back to their other lives was extreme closely nit, coming across like the relationship Carnies have. They were very much a family drawn together by one noble (if bizarre) cause, to be what we all secretly need and want, to be the bad guys, the boogie men, the nightmare people!
I can honestly say that this was one of those documentaries that there wasn’t a single moment I was bored, by midway I realized I really cared about these people. They ceased to be just people on a screen and became old friends some how, and by the end I was left wondering what happened next, these people and their lives are interesting enough that it could easily turn into a reality TV show and in an extremely rare occurrence be one that is watchable and inspiring instead of obnoxious and obscene like the programs we see today.
The cinematography and editing, as well as the decisions on what to shoot and what not to was all done extremely well, this was one of those rare documentaries where there was no side to push, no point to try to get across, it was made for the sheer joy of celebrating and illustrating the joy, pain, sadness, struggle and even fear that go into one of the coolest and least examined industries of all time. The filmmakers involved deserve not only praise but reverence for this masterpiece.
I give this film two middle fingers chopped off, I was entranced by it and It will be days before I can get it out of my mind I really hope that these filmmakers will consider revisiting the couple a few years into the future, this is defiantly good enough for a follow up!
Posted on August 13, 2013
Where did you come up with the creatures in Nailbiter and what came first the story or the . creature idea?
The idea of a family caught in a tornado came first and we knew that we wanted it to be a creature feature, but we weren’t sure where to go with the creatures. We then came up with the idea that these creatures are a lot like werewolves, but instead of a full moon causing their ‘change’, it was the storms. I kind of based the idea on the fact that some people actually have aches and pains when the weather is changing.
Would you say you’re a big fan of creature features and if so what are some of your favorites and why?
Oh definitely. Some of my favorites include “The Howling
Posted on August 6, 2013
I get alot of films that at least try to be thought provoking, which is great, i like to think and i like movies that get my fuzzled brain going..But sometimes it’s nice to just zone out and watch something simple..Sometimes i just want to see monsters chase and kill people in the woods, maybe a twist or too but straight to the point, and in MONSTERS IN THE WOODS, that’s precisely what i got
MONSTERS IN THE WOODS follows a film maker and his cast and crew into the middle of the woods where they’ve gone to shoot some additional “sex and violence” for the film maker’s movie (Which is apparently an action/horror movie about a white beardless Jesus Christ with a bird’s nest on his head fighting a vulture man…i’m not even kidding a little) Little do they know they arn’t alone in these woods and some of the monsters arn’t of the man made variety. By the time they realize this..it’s far too late and they begin to be hunted down and eatten first one by one and then as a group..is there any escape?
MONSTERS IN THE WOODS Is a guilty pleasure movie all the way, with creative, cheesy yet effective rubber monsters which looked like a cross between giant lizards, spiders, crocodiles and gorillas, a nice dose of gore, a kick ass plot twist that really heralds back to the monster movies of yesteryear and acting that while not Shakespearean is still quite believable (except in the case of the obvious porn star cameo..but she was defiantly casted for her willingness to have simulated sex and show her tits…a waste of money both in the case of the director casting her and whatever amount of money she paid her surgeon to give her that disgusting hack job)
It also features a big dolep of cheese, which while not painfully obvious in most cases will nonetheless garnish more then a few chuckles from long time fans of the genre. And the film also lacked any CGI effects which was very refreshing and lended even more to it’s late 80’s/ early 90’s creature feature feel. Bringing to mind such classics as Watchers, Predator and even a dash of Carnasaur.
There was, however one major deterant that may lose this one alot of fans.. “found footage” portions of the film. I understand that the director was attempting to make us, the audience feel more imersed in the film by letting us see through the eyes of the crew of the film through the use of their camera but to be honest all this managed to do is take away from the film, and greatly. it meant that for the first half of the film it suffered from what most true “found footage” horror films suffer from, namely, Horrible audio quality, disorientingly shakey zipping around camera work, puke inducing angles and whoever thought it would be cleaver or seem more realistic to have the camera’s tracking go bad every couple minutes..YOU WERE WRONG It’s just annoying and it throws the viewer out of the story by continuously reminding them that it’s a movie. We don’t want to be reminded it’s a movie! We want to believe it’s real and escape reality for a few hours enjoying a showcase of ludicris, impossible visuals and story! THAT”S WHY PEOPLE WATCH MOVIES!
Thankfully the entire film isn’t shot this way, and while even the “movie style” camera work is extremely shaky and unsteady it’s scores better then the”found footage” segments.
It was hard for me to decide how to rate this one..At first i thought it would be one I’d be forced to give a horrible rating to due to the problems i just spoke about..but as i continued watching the film a funny thing happened..I fell in love with it. It’s got it’s major issues but the story, monsters and setting more then make up for it…
I give this film one middle finger a quarter of the way extended. I was going to say one middle finger but i can’t justify that with such a cool flick. if not for the found footage segments i would have given this one no middle fingers up because other then that this movie is fuckin awesome.
And even despite the problems i highly recommend you check it out and i implore you, if the beginning irks you, give it a chance and watch the whole thing, i can almost guarantee it will win you over by the end. I sincerely hope these film makers will make a sequel and skip out on the “found footage” angle the second way around
….On a side note if they ever decide to make the bird’s nest beardless Jesus vs. Vulture man action film a reality…i would defiantly pay to see that