Category: Zombies

 

 

I’m a zombie film nut, i know i complain about the abundance of them nowadays and that most of them are shit, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are by far my favorite horror film monsters, and they also translate really well to comedy for some reason.

If i enjoy anything as much as i enjoy those undead cannibals it’s midgets, something about small people has always been entertaining to me, I’m aware that it’s not technically politically correct to take amusement in small stature but i can’t help myself, midgets just seem to make everything better, so when i saw that a film existed that incorporated  both i got excited, really excited.

 

Midget Zombie Takeover follows a group of college students having a hot tub party, during a game of bat mitten  their cock flys over the fence into the neighbor’s yard and the neighbor gives them a stern warning about the horror that will befall them, that they will be overcome and eaten alive by the “beasts” who crave human flesh.  Sure enough soon after the warning is given the beasts in question show up and start snacking. Will the group survive?  Will you want them to after witnessing the miserable bastards go out of their way to victimize and terrorize Billy the fat guy?

 

I went into this film really excited and left feeling a bit cheated to be honest. it’s not that i hated the film, i enjoyed it quite a bit, with some of the dumbest and ridiculous scenes and dialog i’ve ever witnessed it has what it takes to be a great Bad movie.It’s spot on with it’s jabs at the ridiculousness of the genre and the shabby writing that permeates so many of it’s entries

 

… .unfortunately it also has few things i found highly irksome. First and foremost, as a fat guy it really pissed me off to see these assholes terrorize Billy I rooted for him and him alone to survive, hell to feed these pretentious twats to the zombies, i don’t know if the point was to make me hate these kids or if the film makers just thought it would be funny but it wasn’t it was mean spirited and worse the jokes were tired and overdone to the extreme.
Another thing that made me want to punch holes in the walls was the overuse of the line “crazed freak zombies” i mean when one line dominates and overshadows everything else it’s too much, if the line was funny to start it would have gotten old fast but since it was annoying from the beginning it was just painful.
The biggest point against this little production was the zombies themselves, out of a group of about 10 only one of them was a midget, the others weren’t even all that short. The film makers did everything they could to mislead us into thinking the others were midgets as well, having all attacks take place at ankle level, but it doesn’t work, they could have at least had the other zombies put shoes on their knees and walk around that way or something… with all that said i still did enjoy this film and it did garnish more then a few chuckles.

 

I give this film one middle finger up It could be better and it has it’s flaws but overall it’s still a fun watch and will make a nice addition to your B-movie shelf. and i very much look forward to reviewing the rest of the films that Driving With Our Eyes Shut sent along with this one

 DEAD AND BREAKFAST

 

 

Alot of people I’ve spoke to about Dead And Breakfast haven’t seen the film due to the fact that they dismiss it as “just another zombie movie” As I’ve said several times before there’s literally hundreds of zombie films coming out every day and the vast majority of them are pure shit same old same old. But in my humble opinion it’s criminal to even consider Dead and Breakfast a ZED at all.

DEAD AND BREAKFAST: follows six friends on their way to their mutual friend’s wedding, along the way They stop for gas and a rest in a small Texas town. At the gas station they meet a corny joke telling guitar playing singing gas station attendant, who tells them about a local bed and breakfast but also warns them about the strange man who runs it One of the group also meets a strange drifter who sucks on unlit cigarettes, in typical horror film fashion they ignore the warning and head on over to the place. on arriving they meet a very snooty french House man and the owner himself, who seems a tad strange but friendly enough. All seems pretty mundane until while eating a midnight snack, one of the group finds himself cutting into a pie with a knife that has been used to murder the House man. Soon after they find The owner near death of a heart attack, and he dies as well. When the police are called in they detain the friends, taking their van keys and forcing them to stay at the Bed and Breakfast until things can be sorted out. They also detain the drifter i mentioned earlier as he is for some reason, the main suspect for the murders. Bit this is only the beginning, it seems the owner of the bed and breakfast had a little bit of a secret, inside a small box in his room at the Bed And Breakfast is the spirit of a child, twisted and extremely angry from lack of love and compassion, and when one of the friends accidentally lets it loose, the real fun begins. As the spirit goes into the body of it’s releaser turning him into a sadistic wise cracking ghoul who’s victims become just like him. Soon we have a horde of these things as the entire town is taken over and no one is left but the sheriff, what’s  left of the group of friends  and the drifter to take them out or die trying.

With it’s use of both subtle humor and slapstick antics, gross out gore and the delightfully catchy song intervals from the cowboy gas station attendant and his band  and it’s new twist on the age old possession story, Dead And Breakfast is a joy to watch from beginning to end, it’s Evil Dead meets Slither with a touch Oklahoma.

I must stress that this is a dark comedy about possession and not a zombie film at all. Zombies don’t speak, plan, build armies and spread themselves via magic.

If you’re a fan of the original Evil Dead films, i highly recommend this little forgotten gem, it pays homage to Evil dead immeasurably better then the horribly done mega million dollar remake, while simultaneously borrowing nothing and being an extremely well done dark comedy all it’s own.

I give it no middle fingers up. And hope to see similar films from director Matthew Leutwyler in the future