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WHETER IT’S A DIAMOND OR A TURD EXPECT FUN FROM THESE GUYS! PT.1: A Double Feature Review Of:BLOOD SLAUGHTER MASSACRE, And MEMORY LANE

WHETER IT’S A DIAMOND OR A TURD EXPECT FUN FROM THESE GUYS! PT.1: A Double Feature Review Of:BLOOD SLAUGHTER MASSACRE, And MEMORY LANE

 

I love movies. The day I stop loving them is the day I’ll shut this bad bitch down..But I have to say I have to watch alot of….poop. And quite a bit of not even fun poop, just straight up boring incomprehensible dog shit in a hat.  So Companies like Wild Eye Releasing, who continuously shoot over fun, endearing and often thought provoking films are a light at the end of a (Sorry to say it) shit caked tunnel It’s not to say Wild Eye never puts out poop  It’s that even when they DO put out poop…it’s great poop, it’s golden turds!…but enough perineum tickling, let’s take a look at what hose crazy motherfuckers sent us this time around. We’ll start off with a couple of fun slashers, beginning with an awesome 80’s throwback entitled THE BLOOD SLAUGHTER MASSACRE

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THE BLOOD SLAUGHTER MASSACRE Opens at a party where a crazed masked man deftly murders the entire party, The killer is nearly caught by Officer James Fincher but wounds him and escapes seemingly never to be seen again..until ten years later a string of murders begin that strangely resemble those of the missing mad man. Is this a second chance to catch this madman..or is the killer (nicknamed The Ripper) just back to lure him out and finish the job?

When I first received word about this film, I have to be honest, I let out a sigh. “Oh fuck, another self aware slasher homage.” I said to myself..I couldn’t have been more wrong on this one. Everything from the slightly off kilter camera work to the everyone is a red herring approach to character development screamed 80’s. This fucker even had it;’s own kick ass hair metal theme song!

The acting here was actually quite good with Officer Fincher shining brightest,, coming across as a mixture of Doctor Loomis from Halloween, and Officer Norris from Child’s Play. His fierce borderline psychotically obsessive dedication to the case makes him a force even more formidable then he Ripper himself!

But a slasher wouldn’t be complete without a masked maniac, does The Ripper Measure up?

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With his slow methodically movements, cold approach to death and dedication to death, the ripper (who dons a creepy old man clown mask) fits in nicely with the many slashers of yesteryear. I could easily see this baddy go up against Nelson from Bloody Murder in a Low Budget battle to the final body count.

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The cinematography here appears to be genuine honest to god video. It’s more likely that it’s digital with some really cleaver editing techniques but I honestly couldn’t see anything to give it away. It looks just like the Shot On Shitio VHS releases I loved as a kid.

The gore here was heavy handed and cheesy just like the films it so clearly derives from but unlike alot of these homage films it isn’t played for laughs. Everything is done straight faced which makes an enormous difference and makes this “flaw” work in the film’s favor rather than against it. Alot of the kills are also done off screen which is also true to the source material.

I’d be remiss not o say something about the music here. Used sparingly throughout the film we get alot of great cinematic synth reminiscent of the music from Tim Ritter’s movies and of course we get the above mentioned hair metal theme preformed by none other then 80’s crazed director Bradley Creanzo (Director of The Bible Belt Slasher among many others) Brad, is there anything you can’t do you crazy fuck? I’m waiting for your brand of gummy bears to show up next or something

Overall I give this one two middle fingers chopped off and sanded to the bone. It’s an amazingly on point little slasher that comes across as Blood Cult meets Halloween. If you’re a fan of straight to video slashers YOU NEED THIS FUCKIN’ MOVIE NOW!

The next film we’ll be discussing was one that honestly caught me off guard. I’ve come to associate Wild Eye more with wacky off kilter flicks..Not to say that’s a bad thing at all (I love stuff like that) but this one was..deep..really deep. That film is Shawn Holmes’ MEMORY LANE

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MEMORY LANE Introduces Nick Boxer, an orphaned mentally scarred war veteran struggling to adjust to civilian life. Plagued by a war that he never really came home from, Nick feels alone despite a small group of closely nit friends until he meets  the strange but exciting Meg. Tragedy trikes and Nick is torn from him too early. When Nick discovers he is able to go back to a time when she was around when his heart stops he enlists he help of his reluctant friends to stop and restart his heart in the hopes of understanding what happened.

Heart breaking, innovative and packing a punch much harder than  similar films with 50 times the budget ,Memory Lane is a completely engrossing cautionary tale about the cost of pursuing the unpursuable. It asks us “If You knew you couldn’t save the person you loved the most would you still die trying to do so? It comes across as a brilliantly effective mixture of Flatliners and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.

The acting here was excellent with each actor obviously giving it their all. Sticking out the most here, though, was Will.  Having some friends and family myself that suffer from post war P.T.S.D.  I can tell you, his guy is amazing. The shifty eyes, the pale complexion he slight tremor, it’s all here. Even more breathtaking though was the transformation Will takes. First we see an increase in color, a surge of energy and a palatable glimmer of hope in his eyes when he meets Meg. When Meg is taken from him we see his skin become clammy and even paler then before. We see emptiness in his eyes, and it actually appears that he’s lost weight!

The cinematography here was a great example of a cinematographer working with what they have. Though it appears to be low grade digital, the use of colorization o convey mood and the fact that they embrace the shaky camera and make it almost a character in and of itself instead of trying to hide it, made this one pop!

Overall I give this one two middle fingers chopped off and sanded to the bone. This film actually made me cry. With the amount of films I see every week that’s quite an impressive feat! I hope to see more films like this from Wild Eye and I can’t wait to see what Director Shawn Holmes comes up with next!

Be sure to stay tuned for part two of this article as Wild Eye sent us over more kick ass films than we can shake our collective cock at!

 

 

 

 

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