THINK YOU DON’T LIKE LOW BUDGET MOVIES…THINK AGAIN JERKY!!!

THINK YOU DON’T LIKE LOW BUDGET MOVIES…THINK AGAIN JERKY!!!

BISFORBESTNEWBACKGROUND

A low-budget film is a motion picture shot with little or no funding from a major film studio or private investor….WELL IN THAT CASE (following taken directly from wikipedia no rights claimed) Sleepaway Camp November 18, 1983 cost $350,000 made $11,000,000 night of the living dead cost $114,000 and made 18 million Rocky Horror Picture Show cost $1,200,000 and made $365 million Frankenstein cost $262 000 and grossed $12 million in one week Three Ninjas cost $2.5 million and made $29,000,301 Ghostbusters cost $300,000.00 and made at least $300 million the Toxic Avenger (also see Toxic Crusaders, toxie, Troma Inc, Troma video, Troma team and troma.com)- cost $475,000.00 (That’s right, more then Ghostbusters!) and made enough money to keep a low budget film company running for over 35 years! troma.com ! troma.com ! troma.com! (alright damn it these fuckers should be paying me by now..musta spent a million dollars with them “mutter” “mutter” Pout ..eeehem…continuing

ANYWAY..i could (and would if i didn’t feel it was unspeakably boring) continue with this for thousands of pages only to come to one central point and that is this ALL OUR MOVIES GROWING UP WERE LOW BUDGET AND NOW AS WE SIT BACK POWERLESS THE EVIL CORPORATE MEGA-CONGLOMERATE “ENTERTAINMENT” ELITE EVISCERATES THEM ONE BY ONE. BIG BUDGETS ONLY MEAN THE BIG ASSHOLES GET TO MAKE THE “BIG” MOVIES AND DESTROY THE CLASSICS (AT LEAST PARTIALLY AND AT LEAST FOR THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS) FOREVER! SHIELD YOUR EYES TO IT AND SAY IT MEANS NOTHING JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILMS BUT ONE OF THE ABSOLUTE LEAST DESERVING AND NONSENTIAL FRANCHISES IN HISTORY ) IS NOW CREEPING INTO THE DOUBLE DIGITS SLOWLY BUT SURELY OR THAT OUR KIDS THINK TOBY FUCKIN MCGUIRE IS SPIDERMAN AND THAT NAMELESS ACTOR FROM AMERICAN HISTORY X (ANOTHER FILM RIPE FOR UNNEEDED AND VASTLY UNWANTED SEQUEL AND REMAKE TREATMENT) IS THE INCREDIBLE HULK AND THAT SMEAGAL WITNESSED THE CRUCIFICTION FROM A DAMN AMERICAN EAGLE BACKPACK! bmovieavengerBUT BROTHERS AND SISTERS I SAY VARILY UNTO YOU THAT THE MAN RESPONCIBLE FOR HOT TUB TIME MACHINE (A “COMEDY” SO MEDICORE THAT I COULDN’T BARE TO SIT THROUGH IT EVEN WITH AN ALTERED STATE OF MIND!) IS NO DIRECTING A MEGA MILLION DOLLAR REMAKE OF THE TOXIC AVENGER STARRING JOHN FUCKIN “MURDERED HAIRSPRAY” “GREASE IS SHORT FOR GREASED ASSHOLES” “AND I HATE YOU STUPID FUCKIN DISCO MOVIE TOO” TRAVOLA.. I AM NOT KIDDING! I WISH THAT I WAS! AND THE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE RATED PG13 AND WILL COME OUT BEFORE (AND SO BI-PROXY INSTEAD OF) THE TOXIC AVENGER 5! TROMA ALREADY SOLD THE RIGHTS TO MOTHER’S DAY AND IT TURNED TO SHIT MAKING FUTURE MOVIE GOERS EITHER NEVER WATCH THE ORIGNAL AND THINK IT MUST SUCK BECAUSE OF THE REMAKE OR TYPICAL HOLLYWOOD SHITSUCKERS RAISING THEIR NOSES AND CONVINCING THE MASSES THAT THE SHITTY COMPLETELY DEVOID OF LIFE REMAKE IS SUPERIOR! HAVE WE NOT HAVE ENOUGH BROTHERS AND SISTER? ENOUGH CHILD MOLESTER FREDDY WITH NO NOSE! ENOUGH MULLET SPORTING ELECTRIC BILL PAYING POT GROWING JASON VORHEEZ! ENOUGH ABE LINCOLN IN GENERAL FOR FUCKSSAKE THE MAN DIED OVER 100 YEARS AGO IN A FUCKIN THEATER I DO NOT THINK HE WOULD APPROVE YOU FUCKSTICKS!

THINK ALL OF THIS IS FAR FETCHED? HERE’S A LIST OF NEW REMAKES YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT…OR WANT TO KILL OVER THUNDERCATS ROBOCOP SHORT CIRCUT BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED CHILD’S PLAY 3 TIMES IN ONE YEAR!(NOT KIDDING) THE THING (5 NEW REMAKES OF THE ALREADY REMADE REMADE REMAKE WITHIN THE NEXT 2 YEARS) ALL OF THE UNIVERSAL MONSTERS BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS NEKROMANTIK EVIL DEAD 2 AND 3 1/2 (IN THE NEXT 6 YEARS) POWER PUFF GIRLS, REN AND STIMPY, THE HEAD, RUGRATS LIVE ACTION ,SIMPSONS LIVE ACTION ,FAMILY GUY LIVE ACTION, TED 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 , AND SEVEN PLUS A REMAKE (IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS) MONEY MIKE 2 :MIKE NEEDS MORE MONEY, LEPRECHAUN (AS A SERIOUS FILM) YOU GOT SERVED THE MUSICAL (A 4 HOUR SPECIAL FILM….FOUR FUCKING HOURS!) GHOSTBUSTERS(BASED ON THE ORIGINAL CARTOON) THE SNORKS, 2 STUPID DOGS, AHHHHH REAL MONSTERS (CGI AND LIVE ACTION), DEBBIE DOES DALLIS (REMADE AS A PG13 ACTION COMEDY….NOT EVEN KIDDING), LUCKY ,THE BURNING (A FILM THAT FRIDAY THE 13TH 2 OBVIOUSLY AND BLATANTLY RIP OFFS.(..SO ESSENTIALLY ANOTHER DAMN FRIDAY THE 13TH WITH A “NEW JASON”….PROBABLY JASON STAMOS KNOWING HOLLYWOOD AND WITH A BLANK PLASTIC MASK…LESS OFFENSIVE THAT WAY!), SAW 7-19 ,HOSTILE VS. SAW (I WISH THIS WAS A JOKE), TOXIC CRUSADERS MEET THE NINJA TURTLES (OK…SO THIS ONE IS MADE UP IN THE HOPES THEY’LL ACTUALLY MAKE IT….WITHOUT WILL SMITH)

AND SO MY FELLOW FIENDS (ALL 2 OF YOU AND THE OTHER 600 READERS WHO ARE TOO ASSHOLEISH TO POST OR JOIN) DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT YOUR FAVORITE FILM IS SAFE FROM THE HOLLYWOOD DISEASE. HELL EVEN YOUR BAR MITZVA WILL BE REMADE STARRING TOM HANKS AS A TALKING ANAL WART….NOW THAT I’D PAY TO SEE.

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